mine and mine alone…

salam..

adehai… at this very moment.. im feeeeeeling sooooo freaking bad… and kinda mad… stressed up maybe… its not a good feeling…

today was super busy.. so was the day before… and the day before… senang citer this whole week my life was like busy gila babi.. haishh.. i dont know what words to use to describe bertapa busy nyer kehidupan aku…

i only went home for sleep and mandi.. the rest of the time, i’d be at sola’s or uni.. trying to do the darn assignments…

but…

thank God that they all are behind me now.. both assignments done and submitted.. and admittedly i am so proud of myself for not giving up.. huhu.. when i first read the assignment descriptions and requirements i knew they are not easy.. scared like hell jugak la.. ditambah pulak with the constant lost of focus in Gordon’s class.. huhu.. things seemes scary.. they still do actually.. huhu..

well.. supposedly i should be feeling good and relieved having all the assignments sent already.. now whats making me feel bad ni??

heres the deal.. this evening.. i was working on the report for the real time software assignment.. and the submission of the electronic files were via the S drive.. for some very weird reason the computer i was working at didnt have winzip.. the software to compress files.. and submission required us to send compressed files of our project..

so to have my files compressed i had to ask sola’s help since he brought his laptop with him..

done with compressing.. then i submitted the files la kan.. nak dijadikan cerita.. i left my pendrive there..

well actually.. im not sure if i really left it there.. coz after submitting the assignment.. my mind just went to its dont-know-dont-care mode..

only just now i realized that my pendrive is missing.. argh!! my best bet is that its still connected to the computer i did my work at.. stupid!!

reading back what i wrote.. i honestly dont know why i went to great details in telling how my pendrive went missing.. i couldve just said i think i left my pendrive somewhere bla3…

hmm.. maybe my mind isnt really organized at this moment..

haaa… now i know what i wanna talk about.. actually tonite my frens are having a sort of haloween party.. i know haloween is celebrated on the 31 of Oct (ke 30th ha?).. tapi since the exam will start next week.. they decided to do it tonite..

and as u know.. its not haloween without costumes.. and trick o treating.. and i dont have any costume.. and TOT isnt really my thing.. so i didnt go..

but truthfully.. i wanna go.. just to mingle around and hang out.. but i dont wanna be the weird one w’out a costume… altho i strongly believe there are loads of them who dont have costumes…

ahhh.. why do i care?? my legs are really killing me right now.. todays soccer was silly i think.. it was tiring and not so fun.. haha.. dont know why.. probably because we had to devide ourselves into 2 groups..

there were so many people tadi.. close to 40 people i reckon.. and it would be funny to play soccer 20 sebelah.. padang pulak kecik jer..

so some of us played on a different field.. but it kinda sucked coz there were only like 12 people playing on one field.. and another 20+ on the other field..

i played on the smaller field with less people.. so as a result.. it was more tiring la kan.. and less fun..

haih.. why all of sudden im talking about my soccer game pulak ni.. i digress so easily it seems lately..

hmm… haaaa… now the real thing thats making me feel all stressed up.. i have remembered it.. MY LAPTOP DIED!!!

it was all so sudden.. and unforeseen.. a few days ago.. it was tuesday if i remember correctly.. i woke up that morning and the first thing i do is press the on button of my laptop.. then i went to bilik air to basuh muka or gosok gigi.. and go make my coffee..

usually by the time i get back to my laptop.. it will be ready for me la to do stuffs.. like email etc etc..

but on that morning.. something out of the ordinary happened.. i came back to my laptop with a coffee in hand and found the computer had died..

i first thought maybe i didnt press the on button correctly.. so i did again..

everything went ok…i managed to watch the latest episode of desperate housewives.. done with DH, i continued with gossip girl.. while i was watching.. after 10 mins or so.. my laptop turned off on its own..

i was like..”what the PUCK!!!”

i didnt have time to check to see what went wrong coz i needed to go to class time tu..

petang tu.. i was at sola’s.. doing the fpga assignment.. and at the same time we were watching the movie Year One on TV, connected to my laptop.. all went well at first then suddenly it died again..

i couldve sensed something big.. something really bad was upon me..

and as time passed by.. the problem persisted.. and lama kelamaan.. langsung takleh on dah..

can u imagine how i miserable i was feeling at that time.. with 2 programming assignments, each worth 15%.. and dua2 susah macam haram.. i was really out of my wits.. working in the computer lab is just not my thing..

one because the mechatronics lab is kinda isolated.. and also there is really limited number of DAQ cards of FPGA boards available.. hmm.. thats not really an excuse.. huhu..

lagipon these lads.. sola n afiqshah ni bukan nak buat keje kat lab.. and neither do i.. not when we can do the work in the comfort of our own home.. with food just a few meters away.. and a 32inch LCD for us to watch new movies like Surrogates or StarTrack.. huhu.. working in the mecha lab is just not an option.. not when we can help it.. huhu..

hmm.. since my laptop da mampos ni.. aku macam da kurang bahan hiburan.. which i think is a good thing in a way it let me have more time to study.. read notes, do problem questions etc etc.. hopefully it helps la..

right now im on epens laptop.. VAIO uolls!! glamor budak ni..

he went to the haloween party.. i saw his costume.. it was cool.. kinda..

huhu..he was wearing a black shirt with what looked like aluminium foil shreds pasted on the shirt,, with a few vertical bands.. and the word KISS on the back.. not just that.. he had his face painted white with a black star on an eye.. and also a fro wig on head..was it fro?? kurang pasti.. it was cool.. i think.. huhu..

altho this entry is already so freakin long.. i still have one more thing to rant here.. huhu..

this so called haloween party is not really of haloween.. dont make any sense?

cenggini kisahnyer.. lebih kurang 2 days before the party, Odie posted on his twitter a link that says its haram to celebrate haloween.. al muntalaq something la nama link tu..

huhu.. pastu dan2 la pulak haloween party ni jadi costume party kannn.. walaupon tema dier orang pakai baju seram2 tapi tetap bukan haloween katanya.. huhu.. lantak la.. hope they have fun.. im just too tired to go there.. and tooo tired to care.. *nak pegi gak sbnanyer tp takder baju*

aku rasa aku da penat menulis da.. the only thing i can do after this is listen music on my ipod.. or maybe watch those hindustan videos jugak.. i love the song suraj hua madham.. i dont know who the singers are.. but the song is from kabi kushi kabi gam.. and in the song kajol and shah rukh khan la yg purak2 menyanyikan lagu ittew when in real life sore derang tu takder la sedap pon.. lalala..

okla.. suker terdigress secara tidak sengaja..

ok later~~

salam..

haih.. sudah menjadi kebiasaan la kan bila aku bosan jer kat bilik aku ni sengsorang, aku akan mula tulis blog..

tadi actually i was planning to go to the gym to have my 20mins run on treadmill and do some light exercises.. need to lose these few inches around ma waist ni ha.. duh!! but i couldnt go cuz it was raining.. darn it!!

so i just stayed at home and watched gossip girl.. after that i started to get bored again.. then i pondered a lil while.. still bored..

then this idea of writing a blog about the things i do when im bored.. haha.. it seems reasonably okay to write about tht.. quite interesting..

hmm.. what is my first choice to do when im bored??  i think i’ll go for checking my email n from email then will lead to facebook, twitter dll..this will let me kill about 10 - 20 mins of time..

dulu2 i used to play flash games on facebook but not anymore nowadays.. they just got boring i guess, and i need sumthing more than jz simple flash games..

hmm.. then what else will i do.. usually when im bored n i jz washed my hair.. i’d dry my hair and get it str8ened.. huhu.. i think ive done that for the millions of times by now.. huhu.. and tht wud usually take me 1 hour..

pe lagi yg aku buat ek.. i would ponder a lot about my life.. usually thinking about the most recent events.. and do a lot of thinking.. and imagining the situation had everything gone differently.. haha.. in a way i think im practicing my imaginative skills.. *poyo*

and sometimes when im bored and i feel like writing, i’d write a blog.. sometimes i’d use my phone voice recorder and start rambling about random stuffs.. if im having a bad day for example.. or someone did sumthing nasty to me and i had noone to talk about it with.. i’d talk to myself.. and admittedly id say some pretty aweful things la.. tapi aku rasa this helps me abit.. i get to let it out.. altho nobodys listening.. atleast i feel less burdened after that.. the funny part is when 2 weeks (or more) after the recording, i’d listen back to what i said.. i’d laugh like crazy la.. and asked myself why didnt i act differently at that time.. i could have.. or maybe i should have..

kalau dulu2.. when im bored i’d buzz my frens on ym and chat with them.. but not anymore.. haha.. i have changed.. and i dont know what made me change or why i changed.. i just did.. chatting is soooooo last decade..

is it?? haha.. kadang2 aku chat jer.. tapi takder la se’semangat’ aku dulu..

haha.. i read back this post and its obvious that when im bored, i’d do silly stuffs.. like really non-beneficial stuffs.. i should use the time to study for tests.. read my notes.. or do my assignments.. look for practical jobs..

damn me!! i have like heaps of important things that i need to do but i do crappy things instead.. huhu.. taktau la caner aku nak jadi rajin ni..

maybe this is the way i should be kot.. or maybe im still young and that its not the time yet for me to act like all matured, responsible and passionate in working.. duh!! work is shit!! i hate the word work!!

as usually i’d write shit stuffs here.. but who cares.. this is a blog, not a note book or ensiklopedia (tatau eja omputeh dier caner).. its not expected to be beneficial.. its only for me.. mine and mine alone..

ok bye.. nak mandi!!

ps : bought an ipod touch.. so eager to try all of its features.. huhu..

salam..

haih.. its been several times i tried to blog.. but often i couldnt finish.. simply bcoz what went thru my mind kept changing.. and i eventually lost the mood to blog..

but this time around, i ma just write some shit.. hoping that some of it will make sense.. to me.. or maybe to others..

my life has been super hectic.. hmm.. maybe ive been busier but i dont really know how to say this.. its like heaps of stuffs.. u just dont know where to begin telling..

ok2.. one thing at a time.. my study stuffs.. this week and the coming week, i’ll be busy like shit.. this week ive got an assignment due and a test.. i cant lie.. im super scared.. thank God last nite i stayed up and got the assignment completed.. maybe not entirely.. maybe around 80% or 90%.. i still need to check with my friends what ive done.. wouldnt wanna be sooo confident when all that ive done was a complete crap..

but i am more scared of the test thats coming this friday.. one thing being that peter richard is the lecturer and ive been completely lost in his classes.. super SHIT!! i need to do my revision.. and i know its gonna be really hard.. pasal aku satu haram pon tak paham apa dier ngajar!!!

haaa.. even scarier than that is the 2 assignments coming the week after that.. its software and digital.. the two deadliest courses for me.. coz i super hate programming.. and both assignments require me to write codes and build projects bla bla bla.. adoyai!! malasnyer.. malas dan tak reti.. bangangnyer rasa diri ini pasal suka2.. mencari pasal buat mekatroniks pulak.. padan la muka kan…

wahh.. pjgnyer aku da tulis.. ni baru pasal study..

hmm.. tetiba aku da malas nak tulis da.. lantak la.. i think this entry is really like shit..

aku nak buat keje la ni.. later~~

salam..

my previous year raya celebrations were awesome.. i had a blast.. i wish this year will be the same.. altho it didnt start like we had hoped..

everybody anticipated to celebrate eid on sunday.. but it turned out that the anak bulan wasnt sighted the night before.. and we had to wait another day.. unlike them in malaysia, australia and many more.. their first of syawal being today, sunday 20.09.2009.. thats a cool number eh.. huhu

hehe.. im actually quite sad now.. not sad, but maybe just worried.. and frankly, a lil miserable.. the reason being my keys had gone missing.. cilanat!! i woke up this morning and they were gone.. vavi vetol!!

then i started looking for em, geledah satu rumah, abes bilik aku yg never been cleaned and full with habuk2 sumer aku geledah.. and along the way tu aku kemas la sekali, and threw away all the sampah rampah..

so pasal aku da takder kunci my movement tu agak limited la.. nak ke dapor pon tak dapat pasal, nnt klu da kuar caner nak masok pasal kunci tadak.. aiyooo kunci2ku.. where did u go??

apa lagi yg aku nak ramble kat sini ni.. im super kenyang rite now.. being the last day of ramadhan, i thot maybe its a good thing i had iftar at mt st, so i went there with bali.. then kat sana we heard tht huaians are having eid celebration tonight at 730..

with stomach half full, we went to huia pulak, there we had satay, nasi impit and many kueh2 raya la.. the feeling of raya started to fill the air tadi.. but not thoroughly.. haha.. maybe esok and the following days akan lagi meriah.. insyaallah..

hmm.. tetiba my mood da ilang pulak.. rasa cam nak terberry juga ada.. so later uolls~~

salam..

i dont know what this entry is for, or wheter it should be written at the first place..

life is hard, and it gets harder..

i wish to get away.. but i cant..

and at times i wish to just quit.. and to whatever that awaits me next, i wish i could say “so be it” but i cant..

koran says, a test given to someone is only as hard as he/she can take.. pardon me but i find that hard to believe now.. im not strong, never wished to be strong.. so why is this test given to me?

forgive me God, i pray tht u restore my faith.. and please never leave me forsaken..

i need help..

salam..

aku baru bangun tdo ni.. tapi taktau naper secara automatiknya aku cam nak memblog pasal beyonce lak pagi2 ni..(da pukol 12.17 ni, pagi ker kita?)

kaedahnya.. it started like a few days ago, i was bored as usual altho there were like tonnes of work to do.. so i stumbled into a video wishing happy birtday to beyonce made by her fans, and i as one of them of course la felt compelled to watch it kan..

you can just search “happy birthday beyonce” on youtube and u’ll find it.. im too lazy to find the link to put it here.. hehe..

altho, i dont regard myself as being too fanatic of her coz i only knew about the vid a few days after her bithday, which was on sept 4th.. well, anyway after the birthday vid, i watched many other related vids.. mostly the ones uploaded by “sweetersacrifice”.. google it if u want to know more..

her videos performing in a concert at phoenix arizona.. damn this bitch is really good..

aiyooo.. i just realize that i have dance practice at 1pm.. and i havent mandi yet.. damn!! i have like heaps of things to share, but i cant right now..

shit!! i’ll only be free after 9pm.. what a forteing busy schedule i have this week.. and yet, all those assignments and projects await me..

i can kinda imagine those workloads waving at me mischievously, as if giving a msg saying “u damn motherforte, u think u can cope up ah??”

aiyooo.. í am now imagining things.. better go to shower.. and get ready.. aaaah!!!! i hate my life!!

nah.. no i dont.. huhu..

later bitches~~~~

haiyooo..

salam.. its been quite long i reckon, not blogging.. but whatever, i’m here coz i wanna give my review on talentime.. maybe this is not the right place, but who cares right..

huhu.. i know its been 6 months since the movie was first shown.. i am in NZ and there was no way i could have watched it before.. ni pon amek dari kerry, and he probably got it from muhamad fariq karim tu.. i dont know him, but he’s in my facebook frens list somehow..

this movie, i first heard about it when Am told me, like a few months back la.. in his blog review, he said that this movie was a brilliant production from yasmin ahmad.. and i was intrigued.. and he also attached the song o re piya by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan in his review.. and that song became the most played song on my ipod for a while.. huhu..

so now i just finished watching it.. and i am dissapointed.. and maybe its because ive had expectations kot.. dan dgr orang2 cakap citer ni best.. i cant help but to anticipate la..

hmm.. what else that im dissapointed about??? i just think that late yasmin tried too hard on this one.. and that’s probably isnt her fault totally.. one thing that caught my attention was that sharifah amani syed zainal was one of the assistant directors..it is not that im saying she’s a bad assistand director.. but my guess would be when there are too many people trying to make up one movie, especially one that is as heavy as talentime.. then the bringing of the movie seems fake, and there are some scenes in the movie that i really dont think can/should happen..

one scene when hafiz performed during the talentime night, then the chinese boy, whatever his name was, also the main actor in short movie Chocolate by late yasmin, came sit next to hafiz and started playing the chinese violin, again whatever its name is… then at the end they hugged… maybe the msg that the directors tried to convey is something about racial integration etc.. but thats so not real.. aka fake..

why do i say that?? coz in the movie it is shown how the chinese boy despised hafiz, one thing because he thinks hafiz cheated during the exam, and also the fact that hafiz is a Malay and he’ll get help from the government even if he doesnt deserve it..(i really hate this part, more on it later)

it just doesnt make sense that they’d end up being good buddies sooo suddenly.. atleast there shouldve been a scene where they made up, or maybe a scene showing how the chinese boy and hafiz became frens..

ni tak kawan pon, tetiba nak pelok?? who does that?? that is awkward and so not real..

haaa… about the chinese boy jealous with Hafiz being a malay etc.. in the short movie Chocolate, it started with the chinese boy mother nagging at him.. she wants him to move to taiwan, and leave this country Malaysia.. and one thing that she says “this land is for their kind only, not for us”..

i really hate that part.. and i dont think im being racist.. but it sounds to me that them chineses are questioning the rights of the malays as bumiputeras.. like theres some kind of dissatisfactory from them towards us..

and recently i got the chance to read an article from whom i dont remember, its something about social contract thats been keeping our nation together for all these years.. and it says that noone, not from any ethnic group in the country should question its integrity..

but thats not the case, as lately we’ve been hearing some groups of people complaining and demanding that this social contract to be revised.. i say FCUK off to them.. it was an agreement made years ago.. and them people had made sacrifices for us to enjoy the peace that we have now…

if it isnt because of them motherfortes being sooo FCUKing greedy, there is no valid reason why this thing should ever be discussed again..

i may not be a lawyer or a politician to be talking about this shit.. and maybe i shouldnt even bother..

but people, those who are concerned.. they care..

looks like i have digressed way too far from the title..

i should end this here.. overall i think talentime is a good movie.. brilliant?? i say ive seen better..

salam..

haiyoo.. dont know where to start.. macam terlalu banyak yg nak di cakap..

hmm.. a few days ago i turned 22 la.. on the 29th july tu, at 12++ am, as expected, my frens came to my room, with a cake and sang happy besday song la.. and along with that, they gave me selai undewear and a superbitch medal..(why the hell??)

tapi above all, i was happy la, atleast ada gak orang igt besday aku, thats what i thought..

and also, during the day, after class my kak ngah called wish besday, and then my kak long pulak.. huhu.. so nice and thoughtful of them to do so..

thank u very2 much..

but that was then.. so i thought thats it la for my besday so called celebration..

but last nite, it was something i never expected.. aiyoo.. i dont know how to say how grateful, thankful i am right now.. for everything last nite..

i was actually thinking to describe how last nite went on details, tapi tetiba aku rasa macam tak perlula kot.. huhu.. aku malas sbnanyer.. huhu..

lepas tu… ada satu benda lagi yg berlaku.. i had a really wierd dream last nite.. tah camner la tetiba jer aku ada kat satu rumah kayu ni, dgn dino n erwan time tu ada sekali ngn aku la.. tapi pelik time tu dino cam kurus sikit, and he was wearing a jubah, and serban.. persis seorang pak haji.. haiyyooo.. something yg agak mustahil bagi dino di situ.. huhu.. nonetheless, i was there, and i was in an excruciating pain, but i didnt know why or what caused the pain tu..

then erwan said, there is one thing that i can do to make the pain go away, that is i’d have to menuntut ilmu kebal something2.. and he said that he and dino could teach me, or maybe in that case, they could pass the power to me.. and i remember he also said that someone with that power will have a powerful, and strong ehem2(u know what i mean..)

haha.. so aku pon cam tertarik, and also desperate with the pain yg i could no longer bear tu kan, i agreed la.. they also mentioned that once i go thru with this, i will not be able to reverse the process, and for that they asked me to really think it over before making any hasty decision.. tapi aku cam tak kira apa2 da, aku setuju jer ar..

so then the ritual began.. erwan pi cekik aku, then dino letak tgn dier kat kepala aku baca2 apa tah..

aku pon cam takder la nak meragui dino ke apa pasal time tu dier berjubah serban bagai kan..(tah bila lak mehayam ni da bertaubat ni??)

pastu a few moments later the ritual ended n i didnt feel the pain lagi da.. pastu tah camner tetiba aku nak pegi semayang.. then dino cakap..

“motif ko nak semayang?? ko baru jer buat amalan sihir tadi”

and i was like “what the shit??? sihir kemenda??”

then derang cakap tadi tu derang macam panggil jin saitan bagai kasi aku berubat, and aku da syirik la apa la.. aiyoooo… macam sial jer derang kan.. very2 the jerat percintaan pasang kat aku..

aku time tu pon cam chuak gila la.. aku cam taktau nak buat apa..

derang cakap lepas apa yg aku da lalui tadi tu there is no turning back.. haiyoo… terus aku rasa time tu cam di tarik2 ke dalam api neraka.. aku cam kind of nangis gak la… tapi si setan 2 orang tu gelak2 lak… mmg sah setan dah aku cakap time tu..

then tetiba aku terjaga.. huhu.. sengal jer mimpi tu.. tapi for some reason aku rasa macam affected by it.. somehow it tells me to always be aware and careful, coz sometimes even the most sincere n trustworthy looking people could decieve u into something evil.. huhu.. very2 the scary la..

tapi aku rasa mimpi aku tadi tu macam sgt mustahil la.. paling mustahil is part dino kurus n dino pakai jubah n serban tu.. hahahaha.. *lariiiik

haaa… aku da lapar da ni.. its time to have my lunch.. nasi sudah siap di masak, hanya perlu memanaskan lauk.. lauk yg di beli 4 hari yang lalu.. elok lagi kot.. aku simpan dalam peti ais.. aaaahhhh.. lantak la.. aku da lapar, aku makan jer..

bak kata omputeh, im so hungry i can eat a cow.. lalala..

okla, lain kali blog lain lak..

kendian~~

salam….

haaa… i got an emel from a fren and i feel so compelled to share it here…

huhu…

very noice aye!! i loike!!

huhuhu… i admit some of the questions tu aku taktau apa jawapannya.. especially kalau pasal nama2 raja or kalau pasal jawatan2 kat kerajaan, adat pepatih etc etc…

kalau perkataan2 tu ada yg aku tau ada yg taktau… maybe aku ni 80% jer n9 kot.. huhu.. nnt aku balek ghumah den tanyo la omak ko apak den apo mano eh pekataan2 yg den tak tau tu..

okla.. semoga terhibur dgn entry kali ni..

later~~