mine and mine alone…

its been so long since the last time i wrote a blog…and now im writing again bcoz im so depressed…and in the hope that someone wud listen to my probs and kindly be willing to help me to sort my probs out…i dont know how to describe it as it is so complicated…i dont think i’ll tell it(my prob) to everybody eventhough i know how…but if possible, i’d like people to know the "calamities" that im going thru and how hard it is for me to sustain the pain, burden and excruciating hurt caused by it…

let me ask u something…have u ever coveted something so bad that it bothers the sobriety of ur mind whenever u think about it…to worsen it even more, u r totally aware that u will never be able to have it(the kemungkinan of it to be achieved is almost zero)…hahahaha….how’s hat sound??….some people told me that im not being realistic for wanting something which is quite impossible to achieve…but the temptation and the urge inside me are just unbearable anymore….i’ve been trying to supress it, hide it so long that i think im about to explode now bcoz  years of denials…sometimes i feel ‘malu’ for being so weak and give up easily to the tests God has given me…for those who are reading, u guys might wonder what my exact prob is… im afraid i cant provide the answer as it involves my humility, dignity and ego as a man…

im not sure why i am so eager to let  people read my blog…maybe because i want them to recognise my existance kot…or maybe im stressed up and i need people to be with me, people who wud listen and understand what im having and likely to help me with opinions or some pieces of viable advices…i dont know…u guys who read it decide how u r gonna take it…

for the time being…i’ll let time deal with it…time heals everything, doesnt it….but the drifting speed that time has is killing me…praise be upon Allah and with His grace i pray that none of my probs wud deter me from becoming a wholesome magnificence….hahaha….

till then, CHIOW……………