mine and mine alone…

In life ive always wanted to be free, to be able to choose and to decide everything in my life….but of coz i don always get the opportunity to do so….so many things that revolve around me are not exactly what i desire, but i have to put up with them…well, life’s about give and take, isnt it??

so here i am, contained…due to all the restrictions that i don even know made by whom…did God make it or its just how world works? i can hardly answer that….so u see, recently i havent been able to choose for myself when it is actually my life that we’r talking about….considerations…so i was told…i have to be considerate, to care bout other people around me…my family, my friends, my religion…it’s always been like that…and im stucked, unable to do things i want to do….i dont wanna feel suffocated no more, i wanna feel free…but im hopeless, i dont have a choice but to obey, to nod all the time and never say no…….

i wish the world offers me more options in life….coz i dont fancy being ordered by those who are superior to me to do stuffs i dont want to….to be controlled or constricted….i dont know why im feeling this, feeling to break free, to rebel or to start a heresy, heresy of my own….hehehe…it may be just a dream, but its not impossible….like jesus, people darn him at his 1st preach…look at him now, people(the christs la) recite his name as to exclaim irritation or suprise etc, isnt he someone now eventhough he’s dead (is he??)…..

i wish i can be like him some day….but if i keep lazing around doing nuthing, writing blogs, will that ever come true??…

i better start doing serious stuffs here….hehehe…for a start it may be a gud idea for me to start doing the integration exercise mr. tan told us to do….chiow………..

huh….its been so long i havent written anything here…maybe its time now to start again…there are so many things that have happened in my life recently, and i’ve been longing to share them with my friends…and i guess writing a blog serves the purpose…

panzek came to kms last thursday…for his graduation which was on the last 13th…he came early, so we had plenty of time spent together…we went out almost everynite, we went to ampangan to eat satay…ive been coveting satay for long, so that nite i had the satay ive always wanted…we were crazy that nite, we actually ran to ampangan, i was totally aware what i was doing was crazy and foolish,but we did it nonchalantly….  i just cudnt be bothered at that time…i din give a s**t what others might think of us….

running in the middle of the nite does sound stupid, it looks stupid…i cant agree more..but what i felt was great, i felt so much better….i screamed too….these last couple of weeks have been stressful for me, with the results….option topics of chem which i scarcely know about…ive been lost in each class, my head cudnt concentrate…i can hardly remember anything about transition metals whatsoever…..and the tension was overwhelming….so i let it all out that nite…my disapointment over my AS results…the burden that has been heaving my head…. it worked, i felt relieved after the run and the scream…huhu…

the next nite, i din spend it with panzek@lala@lila…. my frens and i went to senawang, we ate and played snuker…hahaha…its been long u know since we hung out together…so i had so much fun….i won over mon and miji….i wont again last nite at solid power…i paired with nizam….so we got mon and his fren ijoi(if im not mistaken)….huhu…they lost marginally, but a lost is still a lost…huhu….

i think that’s all for now….i’ll write later….

adios………….