mine and mine alone…

hola..
dalam blog aku yg sebelum ni aku ada cakap yg  aku mungkin akan tulis blog lagi, pasal cuti ni, aku ada byk masa..
dan sekarang ni aku tiba2 rasa cam nak nulih blog pasal merdeka..
aku sebenanyer tgh tgk tv3 ni.. tgk pakai internet streaming..
pastu ada la citer pasal merdeka ni..
i’m not sure what the tajuk of the program i was watching.. tak kesah la aper tajuknyer pon, tapi yg penting, cerita ni sungguh best..
i really.. realy realy realy like it..
susah untuk aku describe how meaningful cerita yg aku tgk ni..
citer kat tv3.. dier menunjukkan keadaan2 yg berlaku di beberapa kawasan berlainan pada waktu yg sama,iaitu pada ambang merdeka..
antara situasi2 yg ditunjukkan tu termasuklah bagaimana sebuah keluarga melayu di kuala kangsar menyambut ambang merdeka, tapi takder aper2 yg menarik yg aku nak komen dalam situasi ni pasal aku rasa, benda yg sama berlaku dalam almost all malay family kat malaysia..

di tempat yg lain pulak, sekumpulan kawan was on their way nak gi mana tah, tapi derang  stranded kat satu kawasan kampung la, time tu hujan, pastu derang terpaksa menyambut detik merdeka kat sebuah gerai kat kg tu.. tp yg best nyer, time detik 12 tgh malam tu, sumer org kat gerai tu bangun untuk menyanyikan lagu negaraku..memula kumpulan kawan tu taknak bangun, tapi biler tgk org2 lain kat gerai tu bangun dan nyanyi negaraku dgn semangat sekali, derang pon nyanyi sekali..
time lagu tu la yg aku feel semacam jer..
aku baru sedar yg aku ni seorang yg patriotik..

aku tak kesah la kalau takder org yg paham aper yg aku cuber sampaikan ni..yg penting aku cuber untuk berkongsi aper yg aku rasakan ni..

di satu tempat yg lain pulak, dier tunjuk org2 muda, belia dan remaja yg menyambut merdeka dgn cara yg sungguh rosak dan salah..
derang gi clubbing sumer la..
amek pill..dan random sex.. biler aku tgk tu, aku macam terkilan gak ar..
that situation realy happens..
biler org lain sambut merdeka, derang hanyut, buat benda2 gila dan merosakkan pulak.. it’s pity to see how far they’v strayed away from the real meaning of merdeka..
dalam situasi yg lain, dier tunjuk pasal sorang pelajar kat sydney..
abg ngn kakak dier datang la ke sydney tu, pastu derang terkejut biler dapat tahu yg adek derang tu terpaksa bayar sewa yg sangat mahal kat sydney untuk  duduk satu apartment 2 bilik yg sempit.. derang tu org cina ar..
biler tgk tu, aku macam terasa perkara yg sama jer kat sini..
kalau nak compare sewa bilik aku ni ngn sewa kat malaysia..
mahal gilo wei sini..
kalau convert to rm,  aku dah leh duduk condo alpha tower tu sekarang..
tapi dalam hal aku ni lain sikit dgn yg dalam citer kat tv3 tu..
dier kena bayar sendiri, aku ni mara yg bayar.. i am so lucky..

before aku tgk citer kat tv3 tu, aku ader tgk rancangan dokumentari kat tv1..
citer pasal sejarah la..
pasal pendudukan jepon la..pasal merdeka sumer..
biler aku tgk, aku rasa cam sedih pon ada.. bersyukur pon ada..
pendek kata, rancangan tu mmg berkesan la nak kasi org bersyukur aper sumer..
tapi masalahnyer kiter ni, especialy remajer2 zaman sekarang.. walaupon da sedar ttg benda tu, tapi kita still buat tak kesah jer ngn benda2 ni..
taktau la nak wat camner kan..well, what is there for us to do pon kan..
yg penting badan pemerintah dah lakukan everything they can to help increasing kesedaran ttg betapa pentingnya merdeka ni…

aku pon taktau naper tetiba aku nak becerita pasal merdeka2 ni sumer..
tiba2 aku terigt masa aku pegi BTN before fly dulu..
ada part yg kena laungkan kata2 semangat tu..
aku rasa cam patriotik gila..
aku dah  tak igt aper yg aku laungkan tu, tapi perasaan tu still remain strong..
i realy do love my country.. i believe NZ or any other country is no match for my beloved malaysia..
ada lagi satu time kita tgk video pasal kemerdekaan tu, yg ada jamaica cakap dier almost cried watching the vid..honestly, so did i..
aku hampir nangis tgk video tu..
tambah2 time bendera persekutuan tanah melayu dinaikkan buat pertama kalinya, dan derang nyanyi lagu negaraku, buat pertama kalinya derang dapat menyatakan, memberitahu kat seluruh dunia yg mereka mempunyai negara….this is my country and i am proud of it ..
aku dapat nampak kat muka org2 dalam video tu, that moment really meant the world to them..
sumer benda yg derang perjuangkan selama ni, telah berhasil.. mereka kelihatan sungguh puas hati dan bersyukur..their pride, dignity has been restored.. aku tidak lagi dijajah!!!
betapa berbezanya kita dgn org2 pada zaman itu.. kita tak haragai kemerdekaan ni pasal it wasnt us yg terpaksa berperang, bermati2an nak nuntut kemerdekaan , so maybe sebab tu kita amek ringan jer benda2 ni..

sumer negara pon ada masalah2 masing2..
orang ramai mungkin beranggapan malaysia ada krisis kaum per sumer.. well, mungkin ada.. tapi itu sumer tak penting pasal kalau kite nak sibuk2kan sangat pasal kaum2 ni, kiter sumer gak yg rugi..
tu pasal la aku prefer not to think about it too much..
pasal it’ll only result in us fighting each other..

waaa….
sudah…. aku taknak bercakap pasal kaum2 ni lagi..cukup la aku dapat berkongsi pendapat aku tentang merdeka and kenegaraan ni….
org lain mungkin ada pendapat yg berlainan, thats what makes us special..
yg penting kiter tahu untuk terima perbezaan antara kita and work together on things that are common to us..

sampai disini jer la kot..
nnt aku tulis lagi..
chiow!!!

luper lak….
happy merdeka day everybody!!!!!

hola..
there isnt any specific reason on why im posting this entry..
i’m just feeling so disturbed and angry..
actually, i dont deserve to be angry or mad or whatever because logically, there is noone to blame..
orait, let me set it str8 1st..im mad because harga tiket flight MAS da naik balik, to nzd1554..just a couple of days ago i checked, it was nzd1382..ive had every intention to buy the ticket then,but i needed to make sure i dont get on the plane alone, so i tried asking other people if they’v bought their tickets or not..hardly anyone was available to join me to balik before 8 nov except maisarah..she, luckily for her, had had her brother buying the ticket for her, so dier dapat tiket murah la.. my shitty luck is just as it is..aku tak beli lagi tiket tu..tak dapat la tiket murah..i thot the offer or promotion or whatever will last for a few more days or so.. at least a week, so i thot..
but it lasted for only a couple of days..
how bizarre is that??
asshole nyer org MAS, nampak org byk beli terus dier naikkan balik harga tu..
SHIT!!
i feel like swearing rite now..
but i’m trying to keep my cool..pasal lepas ni aku ada latihan menari ngn mili..
mili..thinking of her really makes my day..i just stop feeling mad and cant help but to have this wierd feeling inside..like an excitement..or content or elation..gosh, susah tol nak cakap..
senang citer, aku suker la menari ngn dier..muahahaha..
ok2, back to what i was saying..aku sungguh berang sekarang ni..
and another thing that makes me mad is that i just know that mon already knew that the MAS offer was only for 2 days..
damn he didnt tell me..!!!
it could be that he thot i already knew..but damn..
it still sucks tho when i think about it..
he knew and he just cudnt be bothered to tell me..
and the fact that he couldnt get the murah ticket, pasal dier nyer exam business habis lambat, really bothers me..
its as if suggesting that he did it on purpose, so that i wud have to buy the ticket at a higher rate just like him..
SHIT!!

look at how far my mind can go, wondering such ridiculous thing..
he wudnt do that to me..
but he could tho…
argh!!
thinking about this is driving me mad..

what past is past and i shud just accept it the way it is..
maybe its just not my rezeki to dapat tiket murah..
and maybe this is the best for me..
mana tau, flight tiket murah tu terhempas ke nnt..(jahat gila mulut aku..)aku bukan doakan kau maisarah, im just saying..perhaps if i were to take that flight, things wudve turned errr not so nice..MAYBE..
hey, look at the bright side, i get to balik malaysia with my frens, i’ve always wanted to go home with those lads..
acap, matyer, dino, odie, zariq, etc etc..
yg aku tak sebut tu bukan sbb korang bukan kawan aku tapi sebab aku malas jer..

aku rasa sampai disini sahaja la..i’m not feeling as mad as i did a few minutes ago.. i mean, b4 i wrote this entry..
gosh, writing a blog/diary/journal really helps u cooling down a lil when u are upset..
it’s like letting it all out and reducing  about half the weight that u’r heaving dikala kau kesakitan hati..
ayat aku sungguh macam kelly ng..english ngn malay campur2 lak..

kat sini aku nak apologize gak la..
for not fulfilling my words..(not ‘city’ing my words = tak mengotakan janji)
in my prev prev entry i mentioned about writing on the topic mimpi basah..
aku rasa i wont be writing anything as such pasal i’m just not in the mood..kalau takder mood, takder idea la nak tulis apa.. tp jgn rsau, aku rasa due to this holiday, i think i’ll be writing blog more frequent that i used to..
ok la, sampe disini sajo..
chiow!!!